Her Own Worst Enemy
by SonofaBludger
Summary: Rei finds herself tossing and turning without someone by her side. Memories of Mars' life begin to haunt her visions, but what do they mean? Rei struggles to accept her love for and the love from another as she battles a long-forgotten enemy. Will she be able to defeat this new enemy before it destroys their souls? Warning: Lemon, mentions of rape, suicidal thoughts/actions, gore.
1. Chapter 1

**UPDATED 7/1- a few tweaked things, probably more to come. Subtle changes that I hope make this chapter smoother.**

**Note:** I own nothing of the franchise. Also, be warned of language and mildly graphic yuri images. If you don't like the girl on girl, turn around. This is set in their final year of high school, following all the events of the Sailor Series.

I'm aware that things happen a bit fast in this chapter, but I'm having a hard time slowing it down. The other chapters are more well-paced so bear with me. And review to help me out!

* * *

Rei groaned. She couldn't sleep. Again. She was exhausted after the day's training, but she couldn't nod off. She hesitantly squinted at the clock on her nightstand – 3:23 AM. This was impossible! What was wrong with her? A million reasons were considered and dismissed. Adrenaline, maybe? She rolled over to her side and suddenly her futon felt very… big. As if a puzzle piece were missing or–

Absolutely not. No. She violently stamped the thought out. She had never needed anyone. Adrenaline was definitely the source of her wakefulness.

…

She chanced another tentative look at the clock – 3:26. She huffed in frustration and flung her blanket over her head with the hope of suffocating herself into oblivion.

* * *

"Hit the sake a bit hard last night, Rei-chan?"

Rei turned murderous bloodshot eyes toward the source. They spat hate at the evident cheer in Usagi's voice, forceful despite her exhaustion. The blonde's smirk faded a bit in fear, but she pressed on anyway. "What did you do last night Rei-chan? And without MEEEEEEEEE!"

"I didn't. Do. Anything." She said through gritted teeth, "but if you make this headache any worse, I will end you - Princess status be damned."

At this, Usagi's baby blue eyes welled up with predictable tears and a pouting lower lip. She sniffed once, then twice, Rei's eyes narrowing further with each sniff. If Usagi knew what was good for her…

"Awe, Usagi-chan – no need to warm up your vocal chords this early; even I don't! Besides, if Rei burns down the temple trying to kill you, we'll lose our meeting place and I for one refuse to give up my 5 minute walk here."

Warm hands rested on Rei's shoulders, their pressure comforting and stilling of the volcanic eruption that the fire goddess had threatened to unleash.

Hot breath whispered in her ear "Count to ten and remember when Usagi got sick on too much questionable sushi and we convinced her she was pregnant with a baby squid. Or picture her naked – I've heard that helps."

A chill shot up Rei's spine, freezing her entire being. The tingling in her ear made her heart skip a beat before she realized what the words has meant. She felt her cheeks warm and the idea of a naked Usagi - Rei had never been a big one for nudity and was embarrassed to even take her shirt off in front of anyone. She shook her head like a wet dog before smirking a bit about the baby squid incident.

Usagi looked at the two girls grinning across from her. "What did you say to her? Do I have something in my teeth? I'm sorry I ate all the snacks I brought, but my mom's cake is just sooooooo goooooooood… or is there something on my face?"

"No, but are you sure you aren't a few months along with your own bunt-cake in the oven?" Rei's eyes twinkled mischievously.

Usagi blanched. For once, the big mouth just opened and closed wordlessly in embarrassment. Everyone in the room burst out with laughter, recalling the squid incident and thoroughly enjoying the look on the meatball head's face.

"Alright, alright," Ami chuckled in the attempt to quiet them, "we can do biology experiments later, but we've still got to finish up math. Mako-chan, I can check yours really quick since you're done."

Makoto and Ami began pouring over her worksheet while Usagi blushed and buried herself in her homework. The tinkling laugh behind her gave Rei a funny little smile, when she realized the hands were still on her shoulder. She flushed a bit as warmth grew in her stomach from the contact.

The hands drifted away as the idol plopped herself next to Rei. Her cerulean eyes examined the miko's profile for what felt like ages. Rei squirmed a bit under the intense scrutinization.

"What?" she spat.

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I thought I was supposed to be the psychic one," Rei mumbled.

"Psychic or not, the bags under your eyes are extreme even for you. What's up? Another bad vision from the fire?"

When Rei didn't answer for a minute, a soft hand rested on her thigh. "I – it's – no, it's nothing like that." She wanted to pull away, but just couldn't bring herself to. "It's adrenaline keeping me up or something I think. Too much excitement."

The blonde's eyes twinkled evilly. "Excitement keeping you up? This wouldn't happen to be Yuuichirou's… _doing_… would it?"

Rei stood in an instant, heat radiating from her as she violently swatted the hand away. She shot daggers with her eyes, spitting every word.

"Yuuichirou will never touch me. I would never defile this shrine with vulgar, childish antics – unlike someone disgusting I know _Aino_."

Minako seemed bemused.

"I never took a vow against having a good time like you, baka! I _am_ the goddess of love – I'm supposed to be enjoying my talents," she winked. "Besides, your vow only gives you an excuse to exclude the opposite gender. You should give the others a try."

For a moment, bewilderment at her words and shock drained all color from the miko's face. All the other girls turned to stare at her as she gaped like a fish at her leader. Rei's brain had jammed. Did they know she wasn't completely straight?

She always had an easy reason. Rei was too busy with her Shrine duties, protecting their princess, school, and training. She had no time to date men – hence her general disinterest. Not to mention her vow of chastity was to show utter devotion to Usagi and the future of their universe, not because she didn't like men.

_But what if it isn't?_ a small part of her brain suggested. _Maybe you've never really been interested at all? Maybe this has all been excuse after excuse to avoid your disinterest. _

Rei felt lost. She had hardened her heart against romantic love a long time ago. What if –

Rei stopped. She remembered once again that she had three confused friends and one bemused senshi staring at her. She mustered a huge scowl for them all before stalking out the door without another word, door slamming behind her.

She headed toward the woods to find her special place and cool off. Rei felt hot, sticky, and dirty. The sooner she reached her favorite tree, the sooner she could breathe normally. The cherry blossoms always soothed her nerves with their dependable annual presence.

Stupid Minako and her mind games. It didn't matter anyways. She couldn't date anyone because of her duty and her vow. The Princess was the only one who could hold her love.

Who cared if she liked women anyway? She hated men, so that narrowed her options a bit.

_If I had options, that is._

Her eyes found that elusive, beautiful tree. The trunk was full of ugly knots, split awkwardly, and twisted in a grotesque manner, but the beauty rested in its ability to persevere and always produce gorgeous blossoms and an unearthly smell. She closed her eyes and breathed in the delicious scent. A small sigh escaped her lips and she curled up beneath its protective branches. The best thing about her tree was that it didn't judge, or ask questions, or leave her. She could say, think, and dream whatever she wanted here. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the familiar bark and let her mind clear.

Time became inconsequential as she let her mind wander. She reached a semi-meditative state and floated there, undisturbed. Visions of her friends passed lazily and slowly turned to visions of the life of Sailor Mars.

_"Stop pretending I'm not here, Mars," a soft voice breathed in her ear._

_She turned toward those lips and kissed them lightly, teasingly. "I could never pretend you were anywhere but at my side. But then again, I should really get back to training. I'm sure I can see you later –" Mars made to go out the door when she was stopped by a strong hand on her arm._

_"Where exactly do you think you'll be training?" the same voice growled. "I've got plenty of new exercises for you to try," the voice teased._

_Before Mars could offer a retort, her lips were crushed against the offender. Their soft warmth spurred her onward to taste, exploring and ravaging that gorgeous mouth. She pulled away slightly, flicking her tongue tauntingly against those delicious lips, outlining their fullness._

_Her breath caught as her lover's hands rose from her hips to her chest. Their soft caresses over her armor offered little stimulation, but more than she could bear nonetheless. Her lover found a patch of bare skin and Mars gasped. Her hunger could hardly control itself. Her hands began to roam as her mouth continued to tease her partner's. Thankfully, her lover wasn't yet wearing practice armor and her hands could roam freely. Hungrily, she let her fingers slide up underneath the cotton fabric until they reached beautiful, full breasts. She held them lovingly for a moment before her thumbs began to tease the erect nipples. She smiled as her lover let out a soft moan –"_

Rei came crashing back to Earth. Her breathing was heavy and she struggled to get it back under control. Color rose quickly to her cheeks.

She was in shock. What the – what exactly had she just seen?

A girl? She was actually in love with a girl? What girl? Who was Mars' lover? Was it someone only in the past, or was it another sailor senshi? She shuddered a bit at the thought of being so intimate with someone as pure and innocent as Ami.

Apparently Mars' passion was a force to be contained. Passion wasn't something Rei actively felt with anyone she knew, hence the chastity. And Rei didn't need anyone – she was too independent for a relationship. No matter how much she would like to ease the loneliness in her heart.

With a sigh, she decided it was best to put her questions to rest. If she continued musing, she might end up picturing a writing Makoto beneath her and –

She shook her head. Nope. Not what she needed to envision.

Pulling herself up from her meditative position, she made her way back to the study group.

Hearing the door open, the girls turned a bit sheepishly toward the fire goddess. She calmly met each of their stares before resuming her place and her studies. An awkward silence ensued. Minako occasionally glanced over, the ghost of a smirk still on her face. After a long minute or two, Ami and Makoto tried to ease the tension by reading the word problems a bit more loudly than strictly necessary.

Usagi scooted over toward her best friend. She hugged the stiff miko and rested her head on Rei's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Rei-chan," she murmured. "I didn't realize you were sensitive about giving up love. If you ever change your mind or find the boy of your dreams, consider yourself released from your vow. I don't want you to miss out. I love you and just want you to be happy!"

For a moment, Rei didn't answer. Usagi was clearly afraid of an outburst, and pulled slightly away to look at her.

"Rei-chan?"

"Princess, my vow was to devote myself entirely to defending our world. And protecting you," she said flatly. "It was not an excuse to evade love. It was to focus as deeply as I focus on my visions in the sacred flames. Someone has to concentrate, since _you_ obviously can't."

Usagi really pulled away now, looking in shock at Rei's face. Rei turned to her with a slight smirk, indicating that old Rei was back. Usagi stuck out her tongue and the raven did likewise.

"Meanie."

"Dumpling head."

Rei smiled to herself as she went back to her studies. Dwelling too much would only lead to more headaches.

* * *

Once again, Rei found herself staring at the ceiling, praying for a few hours of rest. Nothing helped. Tea, exercising, meditating, reading - she had tried it all. It was maddening!

She forced her whole body to relax and she began to clear her mind of any thought. She instinctively curled on her side and evened her breathing. Instead of sleep however, she was hit with another vision.

_The bed was so soft that she hardly wanted to open her eyes. They shot open when she realized her arms were empty._

_"Whhhhhyyyyyyy kimiiiiiiii," she groaned, eyes shut tight again. Mars began to stretch out, taking up as much space as possible._

_"If you keep this up, there will be no place for me, baka."_

_Mars peeked around the room until she found her prey. Like a cat, she pounced on her girlfriend and dragged her down onto the bed. They wrestled for a moment as her lover squealed with mirth. They finally settled side-by-side, stupid grins on their faces._

_She could look at her forever. She loved those brilliant cerulean eyes and the way they shone with exuberance for life. She loved the curve of her chin, her cute little nose, and her rosy lips. Her hand rose to the side of her lover's face as she gently touched her soft skin, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. Mars let her arm wrap around the small of her back, pulling the two closer as their legs intertwined. Their foreheads instinctively leaned forward to the others'. If there was any sort of heaven, she was pretty sure she'd found it._

_Mars sighed contentedly._

_"Geez, Mars – no need to ruin the moment with that toxic breath."_

_She flared right up, all romantic notions gone. The offender, seeing her mistake, leapt out of the bed with a yelp. Mars growled, sending her lover searching for the nearest exit._

_"You c-can't come after me like this. I was j-just trying to wake you up, you know? Training and all that –" _

_"This is my palace, princess. I can do what I want."_

_"B-but y-y-you're n-naked," she said nervously, knowing Mars._

_"And thankfully, so are you."_

_In a single bound, she leapt out of bed and began to chase the squealing princess, eager to extract revenge._

As the vision faded, she felt blood rushing to her cheeks. As pleasant as the memory had been, its implications were far from such. There were only two blonde princesses she knew. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** Again, I own none of the franchise - just a fan! Yuri images and mild language. This and the next chapter also have a bit of gore in them, so be warned. Rate and review! I love feedback :-)

* * *

"Rei."

"…Rei."

"Erm - Rei?"

"REI-CHAN!"

Startled, she jumped up into her Sailor Mars position, ofuda in hand. She was ready to fight their attacker.

"Um… R-Rei?"

Mars looked around the shrine only to find her friends staring up at her in shock. All at once they burst into laughter at her gross overreaction. She blushed and resumed her seat. With what was left of her dignity, she sipped her tea. When the laughter died down, she mustered a calm response.

"Yes, Mako-chan?"

"Oh, so you _were_ alive. The way you were staring at your textbook, I was quite certain that you had turned into a member of the undead horde."

"Yeah – I was wondering why you were twenty pages behind Usagi-chan. It was like a sign of the apocalypse," Minako joked.

Rei blushed again. Embarrassing as being slower than Usagi may be, she was more flustered by the reminded presence of the two blondes. She had done her best to avoid all conversation and eye contact with them for the last week. It had proved difficult with Usagi's constant need for attention and Minako's increased interest in heckling her. Why couldn't she just be a hermit?

Ami looked at her curiously. "Rei-chan, are you still having trouble sleeping? It's been almost three weeks. You should go see a doctor. I'm sure my mother could recommend –"

"I'm fine Ami-chan," she curtly replied. "I'm sleeping just fine. I had to wake up early this morning to do a few extra chores around the shrine. It wore me out a bit. I'll take a nap later to make up for it." She punctuated the last bit with a winning smile in the hopes of squashing her concerns.

Ami nodded in acceptance before returning to her studies.

"Rei-reiiii, you've got to take care of yourself." Usagi had materialized next to her, hugging Rei like a teddy bear in the black of night. She could barely breathe.

"Usagi-"

"You work too hard with this, and the fighting, and school, and your grandpa. You really should take a day or two off and we can go to get cake at the bakery on the corner and then milkshakes at the Crown after. Maybe we could grab pizza and –"

"Usagi – can't – breathe"

"Oh!" She quickly let go upon seeing Rei's purple face. "He-he, sorry." Usagi looked away abashedly before throwing an apologetic smile at her victim.

Rei sighed. She could never stay mad at her clumsy best friend. She loved her. _Maybe Mars loved her more?_ A little voice in her head reminded her of the memories. Shaking her head, she tried to keep herself from blushing at the idea of a coy, sexy, naked Usagi. It simply seemed too – weird.

Blue eyes still looking at her hopefully, Rei smiled. "Alright, maybe we can get a milkshake this weekend and I even promise to play some video games."

"Really?!" Usagi's eyes lit up. "Yes! I can't wait! You promised about the video games and I know you can't best me on Sailor V, so we definitely need to play that. Maybe Asanuma will be there or Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten! I'd love to get you together with one of them and I'm sure they'd love to buy you a milkshake. I wonder what kind of flavors they like? I mean I'd guess that Seiya…"

As Usagi rambled on, Rei's tired eyes drifted lazily around the shrine. They stopped, startled, when they found another pair looking back.

Minako was looking at her like a difficult crossword puzzle. Her unwavering examination made Rei feel as if she were being x-rayed. Oddly, she wasn't uncomfortable with this analytical gaze, but it might have been because she simply didn't have the energy. She had no idea what her leader had been looking for, but she seemed to have found it when she blinked and returned to her work.

Usagi was still going, full steam when Rei cut her off.

"Ok, ok. Yes. We will. But not right now. Besides, we need to finish our homework before we can hit the arcade. I'm not going if I don't finish my chapters and you'll be grounded if you don't do well on the test tomorrow. So SCOOT!" Rei practically threw the girl back to her books.

"Yeesh," she pouted, "no need to get violent."

Rei ignored her and tried desperately to get on with her work. She was, after all, extremely exhausted.

Another hour went by, punctuated with continual complaints by Usagi. Finally, even Ami gave up and suggested they reconvene after class tomorrow. The dumpling head practically ran out the door, yelling a farewell over her shoulder. Ami and Makoto packed up with things and headed out, in deep conversation about how much it would cost to open and operate a bakery. Minako however, lingered.

The raven-haired girl heaved herself to her feet and swayed a moment before turning to head toward her sacred fire.

"Stop."

It wasn't a request. It was a command. Rei halted in her tracks.

"Why are you punishing yourself?"

Rei was surprised by the question, and it showed when she turned back to her friend. Bewildered, she repeated "… punishing?"

"Yes," her leader sniped. "Punishing. You hardly eat anymore, you're pushing yourself in every battle, and you're not sleeping. Why aren't you letting us help you?"

"I-I-I don't know," she stammered, caught off guard. "I'm not trying to push myself or anything." She tried desperately to rebuild her walls and make Minako believe her. "And besides, I don't need any help. I'm fine! Like I said, I'm sleeping now but I had to get up early this morning for more chores. That's all!"

"Bullshit."

The vulgarity in her shrine threw Rei off-balance again. "Y-y-you can't talk like that in my shrine Mina-"

"Bullshit. It's all bullshit. You might fool the others, but you can't fool me."

_When did she get so close?_

Minako was mere inches from her. Blue eyes bore into her own, demanding answers. Rei felt suddenly hot and her stomach flipped over. She was nervous – a new feeling for the confident miko.

"A leader is only as strong as her second. If you keep lying to me, I'll start having to beat you at your own game. I'll stop sleeping and eating and I'll compete with you in every battle. And I'll win."

This gave the fire goddess a surge of anger. She was sure Mina could physically feel the heat radiating from her, but the blonde stood her ground.

"You will do no such thing." Each word was laced with something akin to hatred, but the senshi leader was unfazed.

"I will and I am, starting tonight. Until you get your act together, you're going to have to watch me struggle just as I'm watching you. Eat something and then go to bed. I'll be back in the morning to make sure you do." Minako strode to the door without another word and let the door slam.

She watched the mane of blonde hair whip around corner, leaving Rei physically shaking with rage. She wasn't sure exactly what about it made her so incredibly fired-up, but it was a burning hatred at the core of her soul. She wasn't even sure that she could meditate tonight. Perhaps if she spent a few hours in front of the fire, she could calm enough to see something. With all of this heat coursing through her veins, sleep and food were the very last things she could tolerate.

Rei unglued herself from the spot and went to her place at the fire, praying for guidance. She also needed to find the next enemy.

Focusing on her breathing, her mind began to clear. A few minutes of slow breaths and she turned to the wise flames, beginning her chant.

"Rin, Pyo, Toi, Sha, Kai, Jin, Retsu, Zai, Zen!"

Surprisingly, it wasn't long before a vision came to her.

* * *

The palace was in ruins. Her palace. Her home. She had come too late. If only she hadn't been so selfish, maybe she could have made it in time.

Mars walked through the rubble, searching for anything or anyone who had survived. She had never seen such a battlefield – none of the other kingdoms had yet been attacked. _It must be because we were the biggest threat._

Bodies were everywhere. All of her palace guards - gone. All of the servants - gone. It must have been very quick. Her throat caught a bit as she saw the familiar figure of her childhood nanny drenched in blood and draped awkwardly over a broken bench. It couldn't be helped now. She had sent most of her soldiers to the Moon Base to prepare for the upcoming war, but she hadn't thought about leaving her kingdom vulnerable; it hadn't seemed likely their enemies would attack elsewhere. Mars was not yet a strategist and it showed. She had failed.

Her only hope was that her parents had made it out alive. She continued to walk through the destruction, careful not to disturb the dead. Her home was a glorified graveyard now. The faces, so familiar in her childhood, were now all vacant and ashen. Mars was not yet a completely hardened warrior. Her thoughts turned to the poor families of her guardsmen and how many children were now abandoned.

She snapped her head back to the hallway ahead and shoved those weak thoughts from her mind. She was a soldier herself - emotions cannot cloud the tasks at hand. A wall formed in her heart as she turned herself to battle-mode on her quest. Up another flight of crumbling stairs and she should be at her destination.

When she reached the door, she faltered. It was slightly ajar. Sword at the ready, she swallowed and slowly pushed it open.

Nothing happened.

Continuing on, Mars saw what was left of her parent's bedroom. It was desecrated. Her mouth dropped at the amount of demolition in the room. Steeling herself for the worst, she began to explore. Meeting nothing in the bedroom, bathroom, or closets, she prepared to explore the only place left: the balcony. In her heart, she knew what she would find. Forcing herself to continue, she took a few steps into the open air.

There they were, together in life and death, fiercely proud. They were slumped kneeling in an embrace, swords slightly protruding from their backs and armor discarded at their sides.

Tears welled up in her eyes and a lump rose in her throat as she realized what the scene meant. True to themselves and what they stood for, they had ensured they wouldn't fall prey to the enemy. She couldn't help but feel an immense sense of pride mixed with the pain of loss. Mars knew she probably wouldn't survive this war either - it would not be long before she was reunited with them in death.

As quickly as they came, the tears left. All emotion evaporated and Mars was overcome with a sense of duty. She walked to the forms of her parents and painfully separated them from their swords. Mars ignored the sickening squelch of metal leaving flesh to focus on the task. Methodically, she redressed them in their full armor and laid them out next to each other. She placed their swords on their chests, with one hand grasping the hilt regally, their other hands clasped together. It was the only condolence she could offer them for now. Her time for revenge would come in the Great War, and she knew now that not an ounce of mercy would be shown. She was Warrior Sailor Mars – Soldier of Fire and Passion - Goddess of War. Soldier Mars would make her parents as proud as they made her. She knelt before them and prayed that they would hear her vow.

"Mars, I-I'm so sorry."

The kneeling Sailor Scout leapt to her feet, sword drawn. She thought she had been alone.

Her fellow scout tentatively walked onto the balcony. Tears were in her eyes and she looked so utterly lost. Mars would have embraced the girl had it been any other day. Instead, flames shot up from her eyes. She had some nerve to follow her. She had some nerve to speak. She had even more nerve to dare cry.

It was her fault in the first place. Mars had received word that there was trouble flaring up at home and war may very well break out soon. She was grabbing her armor to leave when warm arms had snaked around her back. That soft voice had begged her not to leave because she was scared for her. The blonde had begged for another five minutes to be with her and hold her in case she didn't make it back or in case something happened on the moon while she was gone 'playing hero'. Her lover did her best to convince her it was just a bit of trouble - she was sure the King and Queen would sort everything out and that Mars would feel silly leaving the Moon unguarded. Mars had dawdled, being swayed into staying by her lover's logic and her soft caresses. After an hour of debating, she finally decided her loyalty to her parents required her to make an appearance, not matter how brief. She left her lover with promises for when she returned to make it up to her. That hour had signaled the destruction of the Martian kingdom.

"Get out," she growled.

The blonde looked shocked at the venom in her voice. "M-Mars, I didn't m-m-mean to –"

"Didn't mean to what, exactly? Follow me? See me give my parents a proper arrangement? See all the death and destruction of my palace? Cry? Keep me from fighting some immense evil? Which one is it, boke?"

"A-a-all of them – I-I just thought –"

"No. You didn't think. You just did whatever the hell you wanted to do, and tried to make me do whatever you want too! This isn't some game. This is my life – or it was anyway. Now it's nothing! _We_ are nothing! I'm out of here, and don't you dare follow me."

"Mars, wait! You can't mean that!" She walked after the raven-haired soldier, but only made it two steps before she rammed into the back of her. "Ouch – what's wrong? What hap-"

"Itami Fida."

In front of the girls was a solid, shimmering black cloud. From it erupted a mirthless laugh that chilled them both to the bone. In an instant, it had entered their minds to speak. A shooting pain filled their consciousness as they desperately held their heads.

_Mmm this pain from the lossesss you feel is deliciousssss… the pain of death was tassssty, but this is much more so. _It laughed again, echoing painfully in the recesses of their minds._ This will not go unnoticed, my petsssss. You feel so deeply that I mussssst have more. I could kill you now, but why don't we have a bit of fun firssssst?_

Mars screamed. Image after image of her friends speared through, decapitated, bleeding, and tortured filled her brain. She felt so helpless and hopeless watching her friends fall around her. It wasn't over yet, though - the creature had saved her lover for last. The image of blonde hair soaked in blood, body gutted down the middle was ground into her consciousness before it revealed the final touch: Mars looked down from the body to find a sword dripping with fresh blood in her hand.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

The vision changed.

Rei was caught in a black, swirling fog. She stumbled forward searching for light. Walking onward, she tried to cut through the fog to find the vision hidden there. Suddenly, she froze. The same mirthless laugh echoed all around her.

_Back for more fun treatsssss my dear? _It chuckled. _Mmm, just as I remembered. And now you shall begin to pay for your crimesssss against me._

Bewildered, Rei was assaulted with an array of memories and images: her mother unable to look at her because she resembled her father; the Senator walking away from her mother's funeral; her childhood best friend telling her she never wanted to hang out with a 'weirdo' like Rei; she relived the deaths of her friends at the hands of Sailor Galaxia.

The images then turned to the future.

Mamoru attempted to fight off three generals at once to defend the pink head of hair clinging to his leg. He could only withstand so much before an electric strike evaded him.

Ami was running away from a huge, angry demon with a chainsaw arm. As it brought it's deadly arm downward, Makoto dove to push her out of the way. The saw sliced messily across her ribs.

A massive snake-creature cornered the princess. It's tail wrapped around Usagi, holding her in place as the creature bit her again and again and again. Her screams slowly faded as her life blood drained.

Minako lay lifeless in front of her, soaked in blood. There was a massive, fiery red arrow in her heart as Rei's arm lowered the bow-

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Rei was violently pulled from her vision in a cold sweat. She struggled to her feet, eager to get away now that she had seen their newest enemy. She felt sick, weak, and dizzy. As she staggered out the door, she had to use the frame for support. Sunrise met her eyes – she must have been in a trance all night.

She sensed someone approaching the shrine, but she lacked the energy to do readings today. Pushing herself away from the wall, she walked to the entrance to inform the patron that they were closed. She reached the bottom step as the visitor came into view.

"No –" she whispered weakly, recognizing the girl. The world swam and the concrete was suddenly rushing up to meet her.

The last thing she heard was a fevered "- baka."

**A/N:** Itami Fida means 'pain eater', baka means idiot, and boke means someone slow on the uptake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** I'm trying to alternate between serious and romance. Romance stuff is new for me, so feedback is welcome. Also, Warning of some graphic visions and girl on girl love. Nothing too seroous here, but maybe next chapter ;-)

* * *

Her dreams were as restless as her visions.

_She was back fighting Queen Beryl. Again, Jupiter fell prey to the illusions, but this time it was Ami whom she ran toward. Jupiter fought valiantly, but the results were the same and Mars watched the light leave the eyes of the toughest girl she knew._

_Mercury couldn't go on from there. Mars begged her to fight and stay strong, but the small bluenette had no spark left in her eyes. She walked right into the waiting tentacles, asking for death's release._

_A determined Venus tried to rally them on, telling Sailor Moon that she and Mars would weaken the DD girls. They and Queen Beryl would be easier to moon-dust than a cupcake, she assured. Right on cue, the girls showed up. Venus used her Crescent Beam, taking out two more of the girls. Mars was paralyzed on the spot as she heard her leader calling for her help. She could only watch as tentacles reached toward her._

_At the last second, the Venus Love-Me Chain wrapped around her waist and pulled her out of the way. This split second was all it took for the other Youma to grab Venus and drag her screaming to her death._

_She knew it was now her turn to die. She took a few steps forward, but Sailor Moon jumped in her place, eager to fight the DD Girls. Mars yelled as Sailor Moon was snatched up by the two remaining Youma. Their tentacles wrapped her tightly. Sailor Moon was crying out in pain before the girls suddenly pulled violently in opposite directions. Mars screamed in horror as the one she was sworn to protect was literally ripped in half, blood raining on the ice below. Mars vomited at the sight, convulsions wracking her body._

_The world changed._

_Now she was in the shrine at a normal study session, but this wasn't anywhere near normal. Usagi was screaming at her for being a traitor._

_"You didn't even try to help them! You watched everyone die while you stood to the side! You let me die back there because you want to be Queen, don't you?"_

_Rei was shocked. "What? No! I didn't and I wouldn't let you –"_

_"You did, though!" Ami yelled with an anger Rei had never heard. "We gave OUR lives to protect her and would a thousand times over. YOU'RE the one who FAILED."_

_"Yeah," Makoto chimed in, maliciously, "I'll bet you just wanted her power like when you stole the Moon Stick. You don't deserve to be a Sailor Scout you coward."_

_Rei stumbled back in fear, wide-eyed. "No, I would never! That's w-why I made that v-vow to the princess. I-I-I only want to p-protect you-"_

_Usagi snorted. "Really? Then why did you go behind my back and break that vow, you disgusting excuse for a guardian?"_

_"What?" Now Rei was really confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about! I never touched Yuuichirou if that's what you were implying."_

_"No," snarled Ami, "we were talking about how we caught you tangled up in the sheets with our best friend. You didn't have the decency to ask Usagi if you could break your vow and your distraction could have been the end of our universe. And you don't even care!"_

_"Selfish piece of shit! I'll kill you myself – we don't need liars and we don't need fire. Sailor Scouts don't break a vow, they don't abandon their friends, and they'd NEVER let their leader get ripped to shreds. Traitor!"_

_Rei couldn't even move she was so shocked. She cowered a bit in anticipation of the attack._

_"Super Supreme Thunder!"_

_"NO!"_

_The attack never hit her. She heard a thud and looked at the crumpled figure at her feet. Minako was collapsed on the ground, having taken the full brunt of the force. She quickly bent to cradle the idol in her arms, trying to understand why she would do such a stupid thing and why she was the only senshi on Rei's side. Holding her felt so familiar, but she didn't know how. Rei brushed the hair away from Minako's face, searching for answers._

_"Why, Mina-chan? Why?" Rei pulled her closer and nuzzled her face into the blonde's neck._

_With her last breath, Minako managed to say her name as intimately as possible._

_"Reiko-"_

"Reiko-"

"Reiko – shh."

"Reiko, it's ok. I'm here. It'll all be ok – shh. Calm down."

The words ran over her, soothing and warmer than any words she had known. Rei felt safe as she neared the surface of consciousness.

She began to realize that she was shaking violently and sobbing uncontrollably. She willed herself to slow down and breath, but it was mostly in vein. Feeling a warm hand on rubbing her back, the shaking finally began to subside. Gentle hands replaced the cool, wet cloth on her head, all the while humming some far off lullaby.

Rei tried to open her eyes. Her lids felt as heavy as bricks, but she knew she must wake. There was too much danger in wasting time. When she did manage, a very alive version of Minako swam into vision.

"M-Mina-chan?" she sniffed in confusion.

The blonde nearly leapt out of her skin and was kneeling next to her friend in an instant.

"Rei! Thank Kami! I really thought I'd lost you. I thought you'd never make it back from whatever terrible place you were stuck. You scared me."

The Raven looked around herself. Her sheets were in disarray and damp from her cold sweats. A bowl of water and rags were at Mina's side. There was also a small bin at the side of the bed, apparently holding what little her stomach had contained. She was guessing she really did look a fright. She looked up apologetically to the blonde.

"You've been out for ten hours."

Ten hours? The miko tried to lift herself out of bed, mumbling about her shrine duties, but she was no match for Minako in her weakened state.

Minako forcefully tucked blankets around her as she talked. "Your grandfather knows you're sick and Yuuchirou has gladly taken over your duties for the day. So shut it. I've refrained from hitting you until you're well, but you're tempting me a bit too much…"

She gave up. Rei collapsed on the bed in exhaustion and wished for those damned visions to go away.

The visions.

"Mina!" She shot up with such force that her head collided with the Goddess of Love's – throwing the latter back. "I've got to tell you about my visions!"

Minako recovered herself, rubbing her head. "Did they include you knocking me unconscious?"

"Mina, this is important!" She blushed a bit at her intimate referral. "I-I mean that I had a vision of us, Minako-chan. We battled a great enemy who fed on the pain of our souls –"

"Itami Fida," she whispered, suddenly sounding scared. The blonde began breathing fast at the memory.

Rei was dumbfounded. "Y-You had the same vision?"

Minako didn't meet her gaze for a moment. When she seemed to have composed herself, she turned to Rei with eyes full of sadness. "Yes," she breathed, almost imperceptively.

The tone of her response shook Rei to the core. The way Minako had affirmed it gave Rei the answer she needed – the vision was truly a memory. And there was more that she had missed. Minako knew something Rei did not. Minako's memories came back to her more rapidly than the others' since she had been awakened a year earlier, but the Raven was still a bit surprised. Rei had no idea that there were memories anyone hid from one another.

"He can't be back," the scared voice whispered to no one in particular.

"He's our next enemy Minako-chan. We have to be prepared."

Rei looked her over. The golden mane attempted to conceal her eyes from the raven, but the psychic could cut through layers like butter. She grabbed the blonde, turning her eyes toward her. Rei's eyes saw the deep and abiding fear in her eyes, but that was nothing compared to the emptiness of loss in Minako's soul. Minako looked so vulnerable and lost, Rei couldn't help wrapping herself around her leader.

She hugged her as if they would never have another moment together. Rei was so thankful for Minako's care, her understanding, and for her presence. Everything felt right in her arms. She wanted to give back and fill the hole in Mina's soul. With what remaining of her strength, Rei hugged Minako hard to prove it would all be ok.

As the miko again collapsed from the effort back onto her bed, the grasp held Minako to her semi-conscious form. They fell together, side-by-side, just as they always had. Rei may have been on the verge of unconsciousness, but Minako felt right at home in the embrace of her once and future lover. Mina snuggled against the neck of her Rei-chan, praying for her memories to return quickly – the good ones, anyway.

* * *

It was daylight - Rei knew this much. There was a slight haze surrounding her senses. She was enveloped by a wonderful warm weight. Her arms were gathered around the missing piece of her dreams, making her sigh in contentment. Before she could overthink the comfortable sensation, she opened her eyes.

Never in her life had she been more surprised to find Aino Minako's face a mere inches from her own. She was frozen in horror. They were quite intimately intertwined. Was this a dream?

Minako simply sighed in her sleep and grabbed her newfound pillow closer.

Nope. No. Definitely not a dream – Minako's lips were definitely resting lightly on her collarbone. Rei could hardly form coherent thoughts. Nope.

The sick senshi swallowed nervously as her heart raced faster than Haruka drove. Don't get her wrong, she definitely liked this, but what would Mina do when she woke up to find her second in command wrapped around her? She had to wake her up.

"Uh, Mina-chan? Hey – Mina?"

"Mmm, five more minutes," she moaned. She sleepily kissed the collarbone and rolled into Rei's chest.

She was going to have a heart attack. She was scared to death, but also couldn't ignore the foreign hunger in her lower abdomen. Minako's breasts were warm against her own chest and she felt them move with each inhale and exhale.

"M-Minako, w-w-wake up. We've got school."

The blonde groaned and yawned. Her eyes fluttered open and settled on the face above her. They looked at one another for a moment, wide-eyed. Mina suddenly burst into giggles. The giggling grew into a rolling laugh as she pulled ever so slightly away.

"Your – your face!" she managed to say.

Rei flushed. Had Minako planned this as some sort of cruel joke? Was the Goddess of Love attempting to prove some ridiculous point? Mina wasn't laughing maliciously, so maybe she actually liked being here in Rei's arms. Her mouth opened and closed as she attempted to form words and say anything. With the squirming, giggling blonde still wrapped around her, she had no hope.

"I'm sorry," she wheezed, calming down, "you just looked so panicked!" The blonde proceeded to observe their positioning. Now it was her turn to blush. "Oh. Er - Gomen Rei-chan."

As Minako unraveled herself, Rei was left to pull herself together. Her face was still arranged in a bewildered expression as her mind flashed through a hundred different thoughts. Bringing her hands to her face, she attempted to rub the sleep from her eyes and the awkwardness from the morning.

With a determined breath, she opened her eyes and sat on the edge of the futon. Watching her friend brush out the wrinkles of her shirt and skirt, she found her eyes lazily tracing Mina's curves. She was tentatively admiring Mina's abdomen before mentally caressing the sweet curves of her face. Her leader had a beautiful profile, begging to be touched.

These constant visions of Mars' life had her so horny lately.

Rei needed to slap herself. She wasn't sure whether it was because she needed to stop thinking this way or whether it was because she hadn't acted when Mina had been in her arms. Did she have a crush on her?

But Mina was her best friend! Usagi was too, but in a 'little sister' sort of way. Mina was her confidant, the calm to her storm, and her trusted leader. It was wrong to want more from her – not to mention that it would be a violation of her vow. Princess Serenity and the future of their world were her central foci. Besides, Minako was childish, flighty, air-headed, superficial, and a major flirt.

The blond senshi shot her a genuine smile – stopping the poor raven's heart. She blushed and looked away hurriedly, hoping to retain some dignity.

"Rei-chan, let's get you some breakfast. You won't be able to work otherwise. If I have to carry you to the nearest café, I will!"

Minako moved closer, grabbed Rei's hand and pulled. The miko stumbled a bit on her feet, but managed to keep her balance. Rei felt dizzy and had a strange tingling in her face. Every few steps, her vision turned black. When they reached the front stairs, the blonde turned to check on her.

Shit.

She felt hot and knew if she didn't do something quickly, she would pass out again. Immediately, she sat on the steps, willing herself to stay conscious. From experience, Rei knew that if she made it past the first wave of blackness, she could resume expending energy for another five minutes before another wave hit.

"Ah, damn it. I'm sorry Rei-chan! Too fast."

Those tinkling words seemed to be coming from far away and her brain was working in slow motion. It took her a minute to respond through the haze with a nod. She was swimming desperately toward the surface of the blackness.

Delicate arms came up under her knees and around her back, but the proud senshi was having none of it. Rei shoved Minako away and grabbed the railing to pull herself to her feet.

"Don't. Touch me," she snarled, suddenly hostile.

Apparently, Minako had realized she had crossed some line of pride because Rei managed to struggle back to bed alone.

Flopping down on her futon, she tried to stop the world from looking like a kaleidoscope. A few moments and the spinning ceiling was much less mobile. Chancing a glance around, she searched for a pair of anxious blue eyes. She wasn't sure whether she was more relieved or disappointed when she encountered none. Without even a goodbye!

This crush was the most pointless one she'd ever had. Great.

When she was tottering on the verge of sleep again, she was startled by a soft voice.

"Hey, I brought curry." Violet eyes opened, surprised and confused. "I was going to get you fugu, but in your state… I grabbed a milkshake for you too. Cookies and Cream – your favorite. Just try and eat your curry, ok?"

"Mina," she breathed, "what are you doing? You should be in class."

A tinkling laugh came from the senshi.

"Yes, because sleeping through my boring classes is more important than making sure my fire princess doesn't starve to death. Baka." When she was met with no sharp remark, her tone turned suddenly serious. "Rei, when was the last time you ate?"

The raven thought for a moment – she wasn't sure. Yesterday, she had been unconscious. The day before, she had been too busy meditating. Before that, she had been working and attempting to rid her mind of Mars' sexual exploits.

"I don't know, actually. Maybe Sunday? I – OUCH!"

Rei couldn't believe that her leader had actually slapped her! Looking up at those blue eyes, she knew she was really in for it.

"SUNDAY?" Minako roared. "IT'S FRIDAY!"

"Whoa, Mina. I just got caught up in a few things and then yesterday I was sleeping and –"

"FIVE WHOLE DAYS? YOU COULD HAVE DIED!"

"Actually, it would take two weeks to – "

"WE LITERALLY FIGHT DEMONS DAILY!"

"I-I would never give less than all my strength to protect you! Food isn't that important considering –"

Minako cut her off with a violent wave of her hand. Her golden hair brushed across Rei's face as she leaned, hot breath into her ear, voice suddenly soft and threatening.

"Your weakness is mine, and whatever you do to yourself, you do to us. Go ahead and start cutting yourself instead, Rei-chan. At least that way, our skin heals faster."

Rei shuddered at the idea. Not that she feared cutting herself, but the idea of the others experiencing her pain. To be honest with herself, the past was still cloudy enough that the driving sources of her hurt were still hidden away. Before she could begin to question the knowing nature of Minako's words or the fact that she had basically been on top of her, the miko's mouth was stuffed with a spoonful of curry.

She could fight, but honestly why bother? An angry Minako was spoon feeding her. Rei wouldn't mind staying sick to ensure those hands remained close by.

Shit. She was falling fast.


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING/NOTE: **#1 - Semi rape-ish sequence.

#2 - Language.

#3 - This is the chapter you've been messaging me for, so you dirty dirty people get a little taste of that smut you love so much ;-)

#4 - This is also my first time ever writing smut so feedback is wonderful since obviously there will be more to come.

#5 - I don't own anything about Sailor Moon. Dang.

Please comment, critique, and follow! Mostly, critique?

* * *

The best part about missing school had to be all of the extra homework.

Rei rolled her eyes as Ami set down a pile of books and papers in front of her. As Ami took her place at the table, Rei gave her the most severe side-eye that she could manage. Non-pulsed, Ami proceeded to open her own books.

"You wouldn't have this much to do if you had simply listened to us and been sleeping and eating like a normal person."

The growl from the Goddess of War would normally intimidate the bluenette, but today Ami was having none of it. She didn't even meet Rei's eyes as she set to work on her own papers.

"I'm under strict orders to help you catch up and to not freeze you into a coma. You upset us all, you know. Usagi has been crying for two days and Makoto punched a hole in her wall when she found out."

Surprise flickered in her eyes, followed by a hint of shame. She hadn't meant to upset anyone. Minako's mother had raged for hours upon finding out Mina had missed two days of school.

This was not how it was supposed to be. Her burdens were supposed to remain her own, like Setsuna's. Their concern for Rei was unnecessary - it angered and embarrassed her.

She grumbled a bit and set to work on the sheets in front of her. This was no way to spend a Saturday.

Concentrating on this mundane task was proving impossible as her mind continuously returned to the visions of slaughtered friends. Every now and then, a feeling of uncleanliness crept over her and she remembered his presence.

The others didn't know; she wasn't sure why she hadn't told them yet. Or, for that matter, why Minako hadn't told them either. This demon just felt... private. Personal.

Invasive.

A sudden chill went down her spine. This thing was dangerous. He had dared to attack Mars herself, the most feared warrior in the galaxy. He had been taunting and confident, while most men cowered at the mere mention of her name. Rei couldn't help but smirk a bit with pride for her former self.

"Arrogance isn't going to finish your lab report, Hino. You haven't written five words in-"

Rei's head snapped toward the small girl, snarling like a feral animal.

"Can it, Mizuno. I don't need to finish a report to finish you." There was real heat behind her words and Ami flinched a bit. Rei was in no mood. Foolishly however, Ami wasn't backing down.

"What are you going to do, Rei-chan? Pass out on me?"

Before Ami could realize her mistake, the Goddess of War was holding her by the collar an inch from her face. Rei hadn't been this agitated in months and flames were running hot through her blood. She hadn't been to the fire since the last incident and it was making her restless. The visions had her on edge and feeling vulnerable. She detested feeling vulnerable. Any reminder of her weakness the past few days was an insult to her pride. She wanted nothing more than to burn down the city after she punched her friend in the gut. Using all of her self-control to hold back, she was shocked to have her concentration broken by a drawling voice.

"For a supposed genius, looks like you're pushing some rather idiotic buttons, Ami-chan."

Ami was looking past her shoulder at the new visitor pleadingly. Rei didn't loosen her grip.

A gentle hand rested on her arm and a soft voice whispered in her ear. "Rei, now is not the time. We need to talk. I'll command you if I have to, but I'd rather not." Rei looked at Ami, to the hand on her shoulder, and then back into the fearful eyes of her friend.

Friend.

Disgusted with everything, including herself, she released the frightened bookworm. Without looking at her leader, she grunted a quick, "What?"

Minako didn't answer right away. She first walked to Ami. She whispered something briefly to her and Ami's eyes widened a bit in surprise. Giving a nod of assentment, Ami gathered her books together. Leaving, she looked once more at Rei, concealing some sort of emotion. The twinkling in her eye… was it amusement?

Before Rei attacked her again, Ami scurried out the door. She swore she heard the faintest giggle follow her.

Silence lay across the room. Rei continued to stare at the door that had just been closed, not yet turning to her leader.

"We need to face the fire."

The miko still couldn't look at the blonde. The next word was almost pleading as it was torn from Rei's mouth.

"Why-?"

As she turned, Minako's face changed to one of pity. Mina knew she had been avoiding the fire and that it was out of fear. Rei never succumbed to fear, but the mere memory had a strange hold on her.

"Because we need to see what this thing is planning," Mina sighed before mumbling "and I want you to remember."

Rei almost missed her last words. Remember what? This thing had done more to them? She shuddered at the thought.

The way Minako was looking at her - was it pity? Sadness? Concern? None of these were particularly encouraging. This bothered her more than the pervious encounter with Ami. Nodding, she turned toward her sacred fire room. She was a warrior - she shouldn't be hiding from her gift and her enemies. Rei was no coward. Mars was no coward.

The blonde at her heels, she entered the room and stoked the flames. Settling herself at the fire, she asked Mina for clarification.

"I'll look for more on this evil, but what should I be looking to remember, exactly?"

She was surprised to see that the blonde's cheeks flush a bit. Actually, she looked rather adorable. Pushing the thought aside, she began to clear her mind. Raising a brow, Rei waited for an explanation.

"I - well – just… anything I guess," she finished lamely.

"Ok, whatever. But if you remember how we defeated this thing last time, it might be helpful if you shared."

"Yes, because I was really hoping for the chance to let him into my head again," Minako snapped right back at her. "All I know for certain is that you were the one to defeat it and I don't know how you did it."

Rei was surprised. He had been so powerful and she had felt so hopeless... But she nodded and closed her eyes in concentration. She sent every thought toward Itami Fida and waited patiently for visions to come.

_She was at a concert - Minako's concert, to be exact. Rei was in the front section looking up at her. Smiling up at her famous friend, she was surprised when a hand spun her around into a dance. The man was smooth and carefree. After a few songs, he asked if they could continue their conversation outside during the break. Enjoying the man's sense of humor and their invigorating conversation, she agreed. _

_Mina was flirting with someone at the bar. When they began making out, Rei almost threw her glass. Jealousy was all-consuming, but she knew Minako had to keep up appearances in public. Trying to keep her mind off of her jealousy, Rei began throwing back drinks like water._

_Apparently, the man had a beach house with the man Minako was flirting with at the far end of the bar. They invited them to continue the party and then crash in the segregated house. Mina was enthusiastic about the beach, begging Rei to go. Rei could never say no to her and the idea of a romantic evening with Mina on the beach was highly appealing._

_Leaving the concert, very drunk, Rei made sure to set the alarms for them in the mornings and also read over Minako's emails about the following day to ensure she would get to everything on time._

_Confident that Mina was set for the morning, she headed to bed, eager to snuggle with the idol. She was halfway to the room when an arm gently stopped her. A warm mouth met her own in a kiss and she was momentarily stunned. Despite her perpetual chastity, this kiss felt innocent and was she still a bit angry with Mina. He pulled away and led them to the kitchen._

_After a few minutes of lazy banter, he poured her another shot of whiskey. She laughed as she drank, admiring his easy attitude and lazy smile. He dared her to another, which only spurred her to take two more._

_Before she knew what was happening, Rei was on his bed without her shirt. This was not what she wanted at all. As he tried to take off her pants, she squirmed away, suddenly aware. Fire burned in her eyes as she fought his advancements. His smile changed to a snarl. He pinned her arms above her head and she kicked him between his legs. Unflinching, he looked her over gloatingly._

_He laughed. She thought he wanted her? Not like that. He wanted her soul. And he wanted her to pay._

_Another consciousness easily overran her inebriated one. He threw daggers into her mind, making her scream with the pain. Then, he flooded her mind with image after image of her friends and grandfather rejecting her. Usagi told her she was unfit to serve as her guardian. Minako passed judgment at the group meeting to exile Rei forever and banish Mars from the Alliance. She was then locked in a cage while her friends turned against one another. They began to battle to the death - smiling all the while in hatred for one another. One by one, she watched her friends fall. Ami stood victorious, spitting on the corpse of Makoto. Looking down in the cage, she saw a small, sharp blade. It had only one purpose – to make the incisions necessary for her own defeat. Glancing back at the battlefield, Ami was looking at her expectantly. When Rei made no move for the blade, Ami grabbed the lifeless form of Minako and dropped it unceremoniously at the entrance of the cage._

_Then came pain - physical pain. So strong was it that Rei was almost torn from his nightmare. She was drowning in confusion and shock. He twisted her nerves in his vice-grip, leaving her at his mercy.  
_

_He leaned down and whispered to her. When she was driven completely mad, she would become his slave. And she would kill for him, beginning with the loves of her life._

_He was so overpowering and Rei was... worthless. What would anyone need with her anyway? She was too much of a wild card to be trusted and her temper made her friends wary. What kind of person had friends who were scared of them? Dictators and the Devil. She was the Devil. Why else would her element be fire? She deserved everything. She deserved the punishment because she had failed. Hino Rei was a tool for enemies to get closer and threaten her friends. Why should she fight? This was the gods' way of bringing justice. So be it. She should just die and let the-_

"REI, NO!"

Her head smacked the floor as she was tackled to the ground. Her eyes flew open with the pain in her skull and she was momentarily stunned. Bright splotches flooded her vision as her breath caught with the hot anguish beginning to flood her body. Her hands grabbed her head in pain as she rolled a bit onto another body.

The room was deathly quiet as she began to get her bearings. Her eyes swam as they sought out her attacker, settling on the wide cerulean eyes at her chest. Her heart almost stopped when she saw them looking up at her with intense, unadulterated fear.

Despite the ringing in her ears, Rei disjointedly pushed herself up, threw Minako behind her protectively, and scanned the room frantically for the enemy.

"Rei-"

The voice was so soft, so raw, and breathless. Rei whipped her head back around in panicked concern. She looked searchingly into those glistening eyes, naked with emotion. It was beautiful and frightening. Looking hard, Rei searched for any way to help. When Mina finally spoke again, Rei nearly missed the breathless whisper that sounded like a sob.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Violet eyes widened in shock. No one had ever known that she was suicidal. And certainly no one knew that she had tried to kill herself before - she was far too careful about that. Those battles where she had seemed far too confident or eager held her attempts to end it all. Dying in battle would allow her pride to hold out – falling to save her friends or humanity would be an honor instead of the disgrace of selfish escape.

"What? W-w-what do you mean?" Rei stuttered, hesitantly awaiting the answer. _How much did Mina know?_

Bright eyes met her own pleadingly. "Rei, you were walking toward the fire and you tried to throw yourself in! Are you – I mean, why were you so desperate? What did you see?"

The miko would have smiled with relief, but the vision came flooding back.

She sat, feeling suddenly hollow. She curled up into herself, hugging her knees.

Never had Rei wanted more than to shed all of her skin from her body, as if she was covered in filth. Her heart felt it might beat itself out of her chest, but it was the only indication that she was alive. She stared blankly at the ground, willing herself to stay in control and guarded.

Mina kneeled next to her, waiting. When no response came after a few minutes, Minako placed a hand delicately on her wrist in encouragement.

The violence with which Rei threw her arm back and skittered away shocked even the miko.

"DON'T!" she roared.

There was no anger behind the words; there was only fear. She saw the utter shock on Mina's face, which made her feel worse.

"Mina, I – I'm so sorry. So sorry. So, so sorry."

She repeated the mantra, rocking a bit as her body trembled viciously. There were no tears, and hardly any emotion other than complete and utter terror. She was numb. Rei couldn't feel anything other than emptiness and panic.

Wordlessly, the blonde followed and slowly knelt in front of her. Patiently, she waited until Rei's shaking had subsided.

"What did he do to you?"

"He – he – I –"

"Breathe, Rei. It was only a vision. It wasn't real. Just start from the beginning."

Rei didn't continue right away. When she did speak, it was to ask the only question she could formulate.

"Minako-chan, when is your next concert?"

"Three weeks from today," she replied, surprise evident in her voice. "What does that have to do with anything? It's not like he… wait. Is he going to be there?"

Silence.

"Kami, all of those innocent people! I'll call my manager and cancel immediately. It shouldn't be –"

"No."

Minako looked dumbfounded. "What, you want to sacrifice thousands just to try and get a glimpse of this demon?" she asked incredulously.

"No, I'm the only one who will be meeting him."

"What? No, Rei-chan!"

Rei looked up at her friend almost desperately. She needed Mina to understand that it was hers to face, and hers alone. If something were to ever happen to her…

What if Itami gets to her first?

Dread filled her heart. To let Mina go through that… she would never forgive herself. Minako was the essence of perfection and hope. No matter how tough something seemed, Mina always believed and trusted in the light. It made her innocent, though she acted tough. Rei had seen so much of the darkness though her visions – she wished she could believe in the light. The pain of evil had corroded her heart long ago. She wasn't a good person. Her only redemption was her duty to serve. Rei would never allow Mina to be corrupted or feel the hopelessness of the dark.

Looking into those bright eyes, shining with concern and determination, Rei knew.

Minako was the one.

Rei knew her better than anyone else. She knew the purity of her soul. She knew that she was in every way her opposite. She knew that she was hope incarnate. And she knew that she would gladly die to preserve Mina's spark of hope, if only for a moment.

"Where you go, I go. And considering that it's my concert and my team, I'm coming with you."

She looked at her leader, begging from her to understand, "Mina, you can't. I can't let anything happen to you. You're too valuable." Embarrassed, she tucked her head as she continued, "You're everything."

The blonde sighed. She slid to Rei's side, so close that Rei could feel the heat radiating from her body. She couldn't bring herself to see her superior's face. This time when Mina reached out, Rei didn't pull away.

"Rei, look at me," Mina said gently, cupping her hand under Rei's chin and lifting it toward her own. Violet eyes met Cerulean in an equal display of vulnerability. Mina was surprised by the intensity of loss and need that they held.

"You still don't remember, do you Reiko?"

The miko answered her question when she searched desperately in the blue orbs for answers, willing herself to understand what Mina meant. Remember what?

Minako's other hand lightly fell on her own, growing warm on her skin. Rei looked down to see a warm, golden light around it as the strangest sensation filled her body. There was a strange numbing comfort that filled her, making her feel whole for once in her life. It was odd – as if nothing bad had ever happened in her life. It was as if the holes created in her heart were all paved over.

For the first time she could remember, Rei didn't feel any pain. Her visions were wrapped up in the golden light and placed away from her emotional center. They didn't leave her, but instead felt like a distant bad dream. The warmth of the light took the place of this parasite. It had all only been in her head anyway. Whatever this power Minako had was better than any Prozac could ever be.

Mina moved so that her lips were a breath away from Rei's. Her heart began racing again, but this time not because of the visions.

"Maybe I need to help you remember," she breathed.

The softest lips on earth lovingly met her own. Never before had Rei felt something so pure and electric. Before she could help herself, she was returning the kiss.

Minako, feeling acquiescence, drove onward. She deepened the kiss. Rei sensed something new and vast from Mina – need. Never before had she know Mina to need anything, but now she needed something like someone needs air.

She needed Rei.

Almost as if hypnotized, Rei let everything go and got to her knees so that she could properly kiss the goddess in front of her. Her hand came to cradle her head and weave her fingers into those golden locks. Whatever Mina needed, she would give her the moon and the sun.

A soft tongue began to demand entrance to her mouth, which Rei eagerly gave. She had no idea what she was doing, but it all felt so… natural. Minako tasted so delectable that Rei wanted more. She ran her other hand up the girl's chest, cupping a perfect breast, thumb swirling around a nipple until it was rock hard. Fighting an evil grin, she flicked it. This elicited a delicious moan into her mouth, prompting her to continue.

Mina began to kiss her more urgently, pulling her closer. Her hands reached into Rei's robes, easing them over her shoulders. Immediately, Rei ripped off Minako's shirt and removed her bra with lightening precision.

Rei was out of her mind with nerves, but knew what Mina needed was some sort of deep void filled. Being tentative or unsure would do nothing to help her.

Without breaking the kiss, she gently lowered the delicate blonde senshi beneath her. She left that tantalizing mouth to trail kisses down the nape of her neck. Her lips lingered when she reached full breasts. Deciding to multi-task, she let her fingers play with one nipple while her tongue set to work on the other, licking and sucking in response to the little moans she received. She was met with a groan when she pulled her mouth away, but another one of delight soon followed as she switched sides.

Eventually, she could take it no more. She began kissing lower and lower until they reached the top of her skirt. She hooked her thumbs over the top of the fabric. Taking a moment, she raised up to meet her leader's eyes and gain reassurance that this was truly what Minako wanted from her.

"Is this – ok? What you need? Because I just – I'm not really sure what I'm doing and I – well I'd never want to do anything to - violate or upset you –"

A very flushed Minako sat up, almost laughing. Grabbing Rei's shoulders, she looked her square in the face.

"Reiko, for someone who can so easily read the future, you're terrible with the present. I want you because I need you and I miss you so much. I trust you with my life."

With a nip on her nose, she leaned in. Soft lips next to her ear, she whispered, "You're too valuable. You're my everything."

Something within Rei came to life. She tilted her head downward to catch the pure white collarbone in her lips. She sucked like someone dying of thirst set before a well.

She lay Mina back on the floor as she kissed lower and lower. She made quick work of the skirt, but left the panties. Settling herself between Mina's propped knees, she gently kissed the inside of her thigh. Agonizingly slow, she kissed closer and closer. When she reached the fabric, she breathed in Minako's inebriating aroma – her panties were soaked. To tease her the slightest bit more, Rei blew cold air over the sensitive spot she instinctively knew was there.

Mina shuddered as she moaned loudly.

Using her teeth, she began to drag the them off before placing them with the rest of the discarded pile. Snuggling herself between her lover's legs, she breathed for a moment, frightened that this was wrong for Mina.

"Please," the girl whimpered. "Please, Rei. I need you."

She sounded like she might cry. Rei's doubts were erased.

With a deep breath, she dove in. Her tongue seemed to have it's own mind as it followed her folds and explored her insides. She established a rhythm as Minako's gasps led her to the right spots. The wetness only grew as she continued, Mina bucking up to provide greater access as she lapped the juices up.

Feeling Mina's breath quicken, Rei pulled back to allow two fingers to take over. She felt so warm and perfect wrapped around her. Thrusting in and out at her fomer speed, she began to accelerate as she easily added a third. The girl moaned beneath her, searching for release. Rei's mouth descended on her clit, tongue swirling and lips sucking the swollen bud.

"Oh Kami, YES!"

Rei's lips were relentless. She wouldn't let up until finally, she felt Mina's walls begin to stiffen around her fingers.

"Shit! Sh-shit – ah FUCK!"

She bit down on Minako's clit and her legs spasmed wildly.

"Gods, MARS!"

Rei was paralyzed. An intense wave of memories washed over her in fragments.

The cry of 'Mars' was echoed throughout many of them, most of them belonging to this same voice. Someone holding her hand, and stroking her face. Someone caressing her skin and fighting her every step of the way. Someone she loved so deeply, it hurt. Someone who had loved her. The girl from her other memories.

"…Venus…"

_The name was torn from somewhere deep within her. She was in shock. Those memories were so strong. And so vibrant. She couldn't piece them together, but the aura of these memories was enough to know that Mars and Venus' love might have outshone that of Serenity and Endymion._

_This was all a bit overwhelming. _

_This was what Minako wanted her to remember so badly. Did Minako love her, Rei, as much as Venus loved Mars? Rei hadn't even realized she liked women until a couple of months ago. She certainly hadn't realized she had any feelings for Mina until a week ago or so. Yes, they seemed incredibly deep and genuine, but what if they weren't and she had just given great hope to a girl who loved her? After a life of chastity, was she simply expected to turn around and be in an eternal relationship at the drop of a hat? And what about her vow to Usagi – would this count? All of this in the middle of a dangerous mission with a dangerous enemy!_

_She froze at a more disturbing thought: loving Mina would make her an easy target for their foe._

_If this thing knew them in the past, it would know that they were bonded. If he found out who Sailor Venus was today, she would become the central target in the hunt for Mars. She couldn't do this. Past lives be damned, Rei couldn't let anything happen to Minako._

Coming back to the present, she was surprised to see Mina kneeling in front of her, waiting for Rei to return. Blue eyes, apprehensive at first, became concerned when they beheld the violet ones. Fear was there, but it was quickly covered with an impenetrable steel wall. Minako would wait for Rei to make the first move.

The miko looked away from the vision of perfection, knowing it cannot be.

"I have chores to attend to," she mumbled, getting to her feet and straightening her robes.

Of all of the reactions the Goddess of Love had expected, that had not even made the list.

"Wait, Rei! Rei-chan, don't run away, please –" but the mess of raven hair was already out the door, leaving a naked Minako hurt and confused behind her.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think might help this along or elements that aren't working. I'm working on the next few chapters, but I'm open to suggestions. Comment or private message me! I love critiques and ideas. I have my own, but I'm open to development. And this is my first story remotely like this so how am I doing?  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes: **Whoa so this one got a little away from me lol I just couldn't stop. So anyway yeah. I have one part that I plan on doing major reconstruction on, but for the last week I've been stuck with it. I'll come back to it when I can.

**Warnings** - language. That's probably about it.

I don't own anything here - except my computer.

* * *

She had fucked her.

She had fucked her. And then ran away.

There was no more to it. Rei had simply fucked Minako. There had been no 'love-making' bullshit or anything. Mina just wanted Rei to fuck her.

But why?

Why? That was the ultimate question. What purpose could the random encounter have served? There was no love involved – only a messed up sort of passion. This was much different than the loving and playful ways of their past lives and it was different from the present demands of leadership in the group. This was something completely separate. Was she now expected to keep this up?

And what exactly had Mina done to her? She had never seen Minako glow like that and she had certainly never felt like… whatever that was. It seemed as if she had gained some sort of new senshi power.

Rei sat at The Crowne, swirling her milkshake like a fine wine. She had no clue about anything anymore. Not that it mattered – she had to keep Minako far away from her. For the last five days, she had been avoiding scout meetings. They were held at her temple as usual, but Rei kept herself busy; she stayed late at school, spent extra time at the library, went to the movies by herself, and now was here drinking a shake, alone.

She had to admit, she missed her friends dearly. How would they react if they knew? The miko wasn't even sure how to react. Her best bet was to continue to avoid them until this danger had passed. Or maybe it would be better to wait until graduation. Or after university. Actually, maybe wait a millennia or two – this was beyond embarrassing.

Rei had never done anything like that in her life. No, it wasn't her first kiss, but it certainly was her first time actually doing anything with someone. It was the first time she had really touched someone – let alone a woman. It was the first time she had ever given anything to anyone. She wondered what it would be like to be touched lovingly or brought to release –

But that wasn't for her to discover. Eternal chastity guaranteed this. She supposed that fate only sought for her to provide life, love, and guidance to the others. Her duty and provisions were never to be returned.

That is, her dreams being the exception. Rei's memories were now genuinely assaulting her at night. She would come out of each memory hot and flustered as if she had actually been a part of them. Every time she found herself wet, she fought back the urge to cry – wanting someone so badly, it hurt. Especially when that someone was Mina, who now held her heart in her hands.

Sighing, she took a half-hearted sip of her drink.

Focus.

Itami was going to be at the concert in little more than two weeks time. Thankfully, Rei was prepared to fend off his attacks due to the vision. Thanks to Minako's weird energy thing, she could fully examine the sequences from a detached third person standpoint.

Her first goal would be to draw his attention by allowing her sailor aura to envelop her. She must pretend to be thoroughly ignorant of his intentions and true nature. As soon as possible, she would suggest a change in location, getting him as far away from Minako and the other senshi as possible. Maybe she could get him into the parking lot or to head to a bar. Whenever the coast was clear, she would transform and destroy him. Simple.

She hoped.

How do you plan in such an unpredictable environment? Regardless of how this would play out, the main thing was to keep him away from the other scouts. And away from Mina.

Her mind again replayed that night. She remembered every curve, every sound, and every word. Minako was more beautiful than the memory of Venus ever could be. This reincarnate blonde was alternately her biggest challenger and her biggest ally. A couple of days apart made Rei realize just how much she needed her banter, their arguments, and inside jokes. Mina was so infuriating, yet her voice and very presence soothed her. Rei had been so lonely the past couple of days. She wanted her best friend back in her arms, telling her that it was ok and that they were ok. Unfortunately, the one person she wanted at her side was the one she had to force away from her.

_Besides,_ she reasoned in an attempt to harden her heart, _Mina only wanted a fuck. She was probably just horny._

Suddenly disgusted with herself, Rei stood and left the booth. She sped out with her milkshake nearly untouched, leaving Motoki looking at her retreating figure with concern. She needed to get away from here, from her thoughts, and from herself. So intent was she on her mission that she sent the body on the other side of the door flying toward the ground.

"I am so, so sorry! I didn't mean to –"

"Rei-chan? You're alive?"

They stared at each other a moment in shock and confusion. Feeling like a hunted animal, Rei started slowly backing away. She wanted to run, but her mind wasn't working quite right.

"Whoa, hold up." The brunette had righted herself and caught the arm of the retreating miko. Rei couldn't look away, eyes wide in fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you or anything. Calm down!" Makoto now had a hold on both wrists to prevent any sort of panicked escape. "Rei-chan, what's going on? Why aren't you at the meetings?"

"I've been – busy, I guess," she replied hesitantly, not meeting Makoto's eyes.

"Right, because you have a life outside of us," Mako rolled her eyes. "Listen, I know we overreacted a bit last week when you passed out, but we still love you. I'm honestly sorry. I know better than any of them how easy it is to get caught up in life and forget about the simple things; sometimes I fast for days because I'm training and focusing my energy so much. I get it. Don't hold it over us forever? It was all out of concern. I really am sorry!"

Rei was surprised that she thought this was about their reactions to her 'episode' last week. It gave her a pleasantly unexpected out. Attempting to hide her surprise, she rearranged her look into a smile.

"Mako-chan, it's fine, really! It's not about you guys – it's about me. I need some time to sort myself out and do some soul-searching. I need to be on top of my game, but I can't do that if I'm letting myself become an insomniac or something! I'll be back, I promise."

Well, it was half true. If she defeated this thing, she might be back. Nevertheless, her reassurances seemed to relax the tomboy.

"Good, because they're driving me nuts. Usagi is being her usual ditzy self, Ami's acting weirdly skittish and twitchy around me, and Minako has been acting as if she killed a litter of kittens. Please come back. I need some sanity!"

Rei couldn't help but laugh at the desperation of her friend. Poor Mako. She really felt bad for leaving her with that crew. She was, however, surprised and concerned to hear about Minako's state.

"I missed you, Mako-chan. Why don't we plan for something – just the two of us? Maybe a girl's night out? We can go to a karate class, play video games, and bake up a storm – sound good? It'll keep your mind off of those crazy scouts."

Makoto's entire face lit up. She nodded enthusiastically at the thought of a real challenge in karate class. Beaming, she pulled Rei into a tight hug.

"Ack, you know just what I need. Never leave me alone with them this long again? I can't take any more studying or shopping. If I have to step foot into Shibuya one more time, I may burn down the nearest offending store."

Rei chuckled. Makoto would never change, and for that, she was truly grateful.

Pulling away, Mako put her at arms length, studying her closely. Her green eyes narrowed, searching. Rei cocked a brow, awaiting some sort of assessment. When none came, she simply smiled at her towering companion.

"Rei-chan," she began hesitantly, "I don't know what it is you need to do, but remember that I'm here and itching to fight anything that threatens us. External or internal demons."

"You'd be the first one I'd call if something looks too tough. Two hot-heads think alike, remember?"

"And kick ass alike," the brunette concluded with a wink.

Makoto certainly was something else. She would protect the princess, Ami, and Mina with amazing strength and endurance – Rei had faith. They were in good, solid, unwavering hands. Rei trusted her. She looked her hard in the eye, letting her know.

Mako's smile faded as a moment of unspoken understanding passed between them.

"Take care of them all?" she asked, suddenly serious.

"Of course," Makoto said with an equally serious and reassuring nod.

Rei shot her friend a half-smile before gathering herself and retreating. With a wave and a hasty goodbye, she was back to prowling the streets until she was sure the other girls wouldn't be at the temple.

* * *

The lights in the library began to shut off. She sighed and gathered her books, recognizing her cue. As she walked by the front desk, the librarian looked up at her pitifully.

"The girls here are really quite nice, Hino-san. You should let yourself have some fun once in a while. Studying is important, but young ladies like yourself should be out at the arcade or on a moonlit walk with someone special from time to time."

Rei smiled at the kindly woman, hiding the sadness she felt. She would like nothing more than to be doing those very things, but she was still avoiding her friends.

"I will consider your advice carefully. Perhaps I will make more time following examinations to have fun."

"Hino-san, don't grow up so quickly. I have many regrets for allowing my own independent nature to prevent me from interpersonal connections. And I wish I would have made more memories. You have so much time left – use it."

Bowing, she replied, "Thank you Yokoo-sensei. I will make an effort."

The sound of the door closing behind her echoed noisily through the hall. With it was the finality of loneliness.

As she walked down the deserted hallways, she was filled with a sense of loss. She was nothing without her fellow scouts. At least her psychic abilities allowed her to know that they weren't fighting any demons without her help. It was a small comfort.

How strange it was that they had managed to affect her so potently. Before the ditzy blonde stumbled into her shrine, Rei had been perfectly content being alone. She preferred it, even. Now, when Yokoo-sensei suggested having fun, Rei couldn't bear the thought of being without her best friends.

And the suggestion of a moonlit walk – who else could she envision walking beside her? She pictured holding her soft hand as they walked along the lake and found a sturdy tree. They could curl up beneath it with Mina's head in her lap, gazing up at the stars.. Rei would tuck her hair behind her ears and drown in those eyes lost in the heavens. They could enjoy the serenity of the night simply existing beneath the tree and the moonlight. Rei wished so much for that comfort, but it could never be. Mina had no love for her other than the love between scouts and friends. Mina had used her. Rei's childish fantasies were just another example of that naïvety.

Descending the steps lost in thought, her breath hitched when she reached the gate.

"Hey, Rei-chan. Of all places to corner you, I never thought it would be here. After hours, too."

She gulped. Their last encounter had been anything but pleasant. She was desperately inclined to apologize, but she needed to get out of there. She couldn't tempt herself into coming back.

"Hey, Ami-chan. Good to see you."

She attempted to brush past the bluenette, but an outstretched arm halted her. This was not going to be easy.

"Rei-chan, I know you're upset with us, but can you please deal with us maturely as opposed to running away?" When the TA girl remained silent, Ami tried again. "Usagi is really distraught and so are we. You've never acted like this before and it scares us."

She felt guilty, but knew she couldn't let Ami see. Rei had to remain aloof.

"I'm just taking some time for myself, Ami-chan. We haven't had any threats recently and I feel like its time to sort the rest of my life out and be human for once. We spend too much time together as is."

Ami looked her over. Rei had the strangest feeling of being dissected and x-rayed by the human computer in front of her. She hated being analyzed like this.

"Listen, it's great to see you, but I've really got to be off. I've got some errands to run for grandpa."

"I hardly think seeing the new Sailor V movie for the 6th time counts as an errand."

"So you're stalking me now?"

"No, you're a creature of habit. You like your routines, so I knew you would settle into a new one."

Rei grumbled a bit. It was true - she liked her haunts with few variations. If anyone would notice a pattern, it would be Ami. She would have to find some new coffee shop or something. Finding somewhere to go couldn't be too difficult in Tokyo. Turning, she began to leave the senshi behind her.

"Did something happen with you and Minako-chan?"

Rei froze dead in her tracks from shock. How much did Ami know? She doubted that she could completely lie her way out of this. Praying that the others were oblivious, she searched for a response. Without turning around, she asked calmly, "Why would you think that?"

"Besides the fact that Mina-chan has been acting mopey and put-out since you left," Ami began gently, "I have most of my memories from the Silver Millennium back…"

"Sometimes, Ami-chan, the past is only the past. It doesn't have to play on repeat. We aren't destined to be the same people," she replied smoothly.

This time when she walked away, Ami didn't try to stop her.

Rei didn't know where she was headed, but she roamed Tokyo's streets anyway. She wouldn't mind getting lost – the challenge to get home might be exciting. Passing many shops, she distracted herself looking at small trinkets and various religious relics. When she came to a hidden comic book store, she smiled unabashedly. Rei hurried into the store, greedily taking in the glorious sight. Without hesitation or delay, she grabbed the latest Sailor V comic and plopped herself in a corner to read. Hungrily, she devoured the colorful pages. Comics could take her mind off of anything.

One by one, discarded comics piled up around her. An hour later, she had run out of her usual favorites. Roaming the shelves, she occasionally skimmed a comic or manga, but nothing really caught her eye. A cool-looking older girl was expertly examining the shelf in front of her. Out of ideas, she figured asking couldn't hurt.

"Hey, um, any suggestions? I've read so much I've run out of new material."

The girl straightened herself and appraised the pretty schoolgirl with a slight smirk. She looked back at the shelf thoughtfully before plucking a manga up and holding it out.

"This might keep you entertained. You'll enjoy it. And maybe learn something."

"Thanks," Rei said as she took the manga. The girl winked before turning and heading to another aisle. She wondered what the girl had given her, but decided to give it a shot. Plopping back down in her corner, she began to read.

It didn't take her long to discover exactly what type of 'learning' the girl had meant. Once the storyline had been established, it was basically abandoned to give way to a host of graphic couplings.

Rei flushed a deep red, but she found that she couldn't look away. The things that the girls were doing to the men were entrancing; the things the girls were doing to the other girls were exciting and sensual.

This was what Rei was missing out on. Her chastity had prevented her from exploring and knowing these differences the various characters seemed to understand. They seemed to have an complete range of emotions she couldn't begin to name or identify. Rei began to worry – was it her innocence that prevented her from knowing love? The love she had for the Princess was so pure and possessive, but how could she know that it was truly love? Or if she was even capable of love? Rei knew nothing of what true love might be.

She went back to the manga. The joy, playfulness, and trust showed her again how very wrong everything had gone with Mina. She should have given her this – given her love and teasing and closeness. Rei had been so wrong about everything. What she had done was wrong. She felt dirty – no, she _was _dirty. Rei had let herself be used. It had all been so meaningless. She couldn't help to also feel that Minako deserved so much more.

Dropping the book, she bolted from the store, leaving startled patrons staring at her retreating figure. She ran blindly through the streets in an attempt to outrace her thoughts. Vendors, people, and cars all flashed by in an indistinguishable blur. She didn't care anymore. She didn't want to be herself anymore. Rei wanted to erase herself and everything that she had done.

After running for what seemed like forever, she finally stopped to catch her breath in an alleyway. The buildings looked semi-abandoned, covered with graffiti. The door of the building to her left was barely holding on its hinges while many windows were shattered, their glass littering the street. Silence was deafening as she explored the street. The neighborhood looked a bit rough, but the tavern on the corner appeared friendly enough. Without further hesitation, she moved toward its invitation.

When the door opened, the only two patrons and the bartender looked up with disinterest, before going back to their positions. The fire senshi climbed up onto a barstool, attempting to compose herself. She was so hollow that it hurt. A grisly old woman approached her seat, waiting for an order. Rei didn't reply – she couldn't reply. Her mind was an empty buzz of abandoned thought. She continued to stare at her hands, willing herself to speak.

Before she could manage to pull herself together, a heavy shot of amber liquid was placed before her. Staring at it for a minute, she moved her eyes toward the bartender. A look of aged understanding comforted Rei as she nodded in recognition to the woman. In a single motion, she downed the shot, relishing in the burning feel of the liquor. The pain brought her a bit of reality,

What was reality but pain, anyway?

"Double Jack and Coke, please," she finally managed to say.

With a nod, the drink was expertly poured and set before her. Numbness overwhelmed her senses as she brought the drink to her lips. She wanted to feel free. Rei was trapped. She was trapped by her duties to the shrine, her senshi duties, her responsibilities for the future, her inevitable encounter with this dark foe, the vow she had given to Usagi, and her own demons. Worst of all these enslavements was the one from her best friend and leader.

Rei thought her heart might break in two. She took a long drink and tried to breathe.

How could she have gotten so attached to Minako so quickly? The evolution from friendship to this obsessive love was rapid and powerful. Perhaps she was lonely and desperate to find someone to hold onto.

But she knew it was a lie. To be honest, these feelings were probably a long time in development and she had been far too stubborn to realize them. For years she had loved the way Mina would sneak up behind her and whisper in her ear. She loved the feel of her breath on her skin and her caring touches, which always reinvigorated her. Minako's mere presence had always been reassuring, as the two had grown closer. Rei always wanted her around. And now it had been two weeks without her best friend.

She threw back the drink and motioned for another.

Rei closed her eyes, feeling the tingling of the alcohol through her body. It felt good. It was like a weak anesthetic. She should try meditating like this sometime.

The sound of the tavern door opening grounded her. Everyone turned with disinterest, save for the schoolgirl studying her drink and the dark wooden countertop.

To her surprise, the seats to her right and left became occupied.

Warily looking to her left, she came across a mane of aquamarine hair. She didn't need to glance to the right to know who had occupied the other seat.

"Michiru-san. Haruka-san," she mumbled in greeting.

They ignored her, first ordering drinks. Haruka took a swig of her Sapporo, not looking at the dejected girl by her side. Michiru was elegantly sipping her martini. They said nothing for so long that Rei began to embrace the stoic silence as peaceful.

"So when did you decide to stop being a friend and start being a prick?"

"Haruka," Michiru said calmly in warning. "What she means to say is - why are you distancing yourself from the others."

Rei didn't answer for a moment. "How did you find me?"

"The mirror and the wind. Now answer my question."

"I needed some time to myself. There are no threats and I felt like I needed to branch out. They were micro-managing my life and I need a bit of space."

Haruka snorted. "What a lovely bunch of shit. I've heard some solid excuses from you in the past, but this one's not up to par. You can't stay away from them for five minutes."

It was true, normally. Was it really that obvious that she desperately needed friends by her side?

There was another pregnant pause before Michiru decided to cut all pretenses. "Rei-chan, what did you see?" There was a slight waiver in her voice as she tried to mask her apprehension.

Under normal circumstances, Rei would have shut down or simply left, but the tone of Michiru's voice was off. It was as if she were approaching a bomb. Despite the light haze the drinks were giving her, she looked at the Sea Goddess sharply. She caught the sadness and fear in the blue-green eyes before she was shut out.

"I feel like I should be the one asking you that question."

"This is not about me. What did you see?"

"Rei-chan," Haruka grabbed Rei's forearm and offered a squeeze in reassurance, "we want to do our jobs. We won't stop you from doing what you need to do, but we have to know our course of action. Your life is your own, but the future belongs to all of us."

If anyone were to understand the need for distance to protect others, it would be these two. She decided that offering up some information could allow someone to carry on should she fail.

"There is a new demon – or rather an old demon. He existed in the Silver Millennium, but has now resurfaced. I defeated him before and he is back for vengeance. He's going to make an appearance at the concert Saturday and I'm going to be able to get him alone. That's where the vision ended."

"How did you defeat him last time?"

"I'm not sure. Mina said she didn't remember either," she shuddered a bit when she uttered the name.

Michiru stiffened violently. "What, exactly is the nature of this demon?"

Her sudden shift in body language made Rei suspicious.

"Why do you ask?"

No response came. Haruka motioned for another round for all three. Rei hoped it would ease the tension. Haruka chugged her beer before slamming it down and staring intently at the can.

"Because," the blonde began through clenched teeth, "it might be the thing that killed –"

"NO, Haruka!"

Michiru's shout brought all eyes toward the trio. She looked scared. "No, Ruka – now is not the time. Nor do we know for sure. The past is hazy for all of us, so speculation will gain us no ground."

Rei was reeling from the force of the outburst. Now she was really worried about this demon's abilities. Looking down, she saw that Haruka's hand was shaking – and it wasn't out of anger. A chill shot down her spine. Anything scaring Haruka that much had to be unreasonably dangerous. Michiru's hand found her lover's, trying to calm her down. She didn't meet Rei's eyes when she spoke next.

"I think it's best that you keep your distance from the girls – your instincts might be right on this one. We will keep the girls away from you at the concert. We can't protect you from this, but we can protect them from you."

Confused at the last, she moved to speak, but was silenced by a hard look from the blonde.

"Go. A bar is no place to see you drown your love away. We will see you there. Michiru and I will protect the princess. And Minako," she finished knowingly.

Rei's eyes flickered and she flushed, but there was no point in arguing. She clambered down from the barstool and was at the door when Michiru called out once more.

"Rei-chan, please always try remember who you truly are inside, even if it gets… hard. And remember who you are to others. You have a choice."

She nodded, still confused and frightened. There was much to be thought over, but not when her brain was a bit fuzzy. With that, she walked away – something she seemed to be doing a lot of lately.

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**A/N: **I think I'm generally ok with this chapter as far as plot development. But please comment and review with your own opinions! I like any and all feedback!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I dont own any of Sailor Moon. Just and average kid writing my thoughts and feelings out. I'm attempting to try my hand at a Silver Millennium fic and this is me testing the waters. I know that things won't get graphic for the next two chapters... I don't think... But yeah. No warnings on this one. Just mild language and implied relations.

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_The pain in her head was throbbing. There was a constant presence now in the back of her mind demanding attention. It yelled at her for everything. It demanded perfection._

_Ever since her parents died, her responsibilities had tripled. She was now the unquestioned ruler of the Martian army – all that remained of her people. Those who had made it to the moon were the only survivors. It seemed fitting that in the end, only the greatest warriors were left in the fight, ready to avenge their proud race._

_Mars and Mercury were pouring over battle plans in the Hall of Records._

_"Mars, I just don't see how it's possible for the Martian army to defend the entire right wing. Your troops are the smallest in comparison and no other larger army is even attempting to defend a whole wing of the palace."_

_"No other army has as much to fight for," she replied grimly. "Not to mention, my troops are the most trained and prepared – war is sort of our life-blood."_

_Mercury shook her head. "I know your people train from birth, but that doesn't make them inhuman."_

_"If you would have seen them when I delivered news of the fate of our planet, you wouldn't bother sending out any other troops to fight. They're more than bloodthirsty. I'M more than bloodthirsty."_

_"Barbarians," Mercury muttered._

_Mars smirked as she marked off the right wing of the palace with her colors in an appropriate formation. She knew her troops. The men and women who fought for her could take on Hell itself in this state. _

_It had been strange, really. Martians were the strongest and most resilient race in the planetary system, yet they were the only ones to be completely eliminated. Even Mercurians were able to put up a decent fight against Beryl and send some survivors to the moon. There had been battles on every planet, but nothing like with the Martians. There was something very unsettling about the coldness of the slaughter – for it had been a slaughter. Battles elsewhere had lasted days or weeks, not hours. She tried not to dwell on the slight embarrassment. Thankfully, this added fuel to the fire of the Martian army as they now sought to regain their pride through battle._

_The two leaders continued to draw up plans, comparing notes on terrain and battle strategies. Taking on Beryl would require all that the Moon Kingdom could muster. Even with the genius of Mercury and the guiding hand of the Goddess of War, their chances looked less than slim. From what they knew of Beryl's vast army of demons, their otherworldly strength, and Queen Metalia's powers, fighting was almost pointless. Mars was sure of one thing however – they were going to provide a hell of a fight to the end._

_"Mars," Mercury questioned tentatively, "are you feeling alright? If you think you're going to have another fit-"_

_"It's all just a show," Mars said sadly._

_The smaller girl sighed. "Let's keep this to ourselves, shall we? There is no need to alarm the others. And who knows, maybe it isn't so hopeless. We have strategy and courage on our side. We may as well keep ourselves well rested."_

_Mercury was right, but it still pained Mars to know that time was the only gift she could give the Moon Princess – and even that was fleeting._

_"Go find Venus. You should spend whatever time you have together."_

_"What about guard duty? And what about Jupiter?"_

_The Goddess of Knowledge gave her a soft smile. "Don't worry about it. I'll ask Luna to take over. As for Jupiter," she blushed, "I'll go let her know about the battle plans,"_

_"Ah yes, I figured you would be needing a warm-up skirmish," Mars' lips twitched, holding back a broad grin._

_At this, Mercury's face turned beet red as she searched for a response. In the end, she made a funny sort of squeak before grabbing her books and hastily exiting._

_Her smirk faded as the bluenette retreated. She was right. Venus would be waiting. Recently, Mars hadn't known what to say or do. Whenever she was near her, she felt overwhelmingly sad and unworthy of the blonde. She had always been dumbstruck by Venus and thought that maybe her hands were too dirtied to have her, but this was a much deeper feeling. At times, she had wondered if this was all some sick joke to extract revenge for her sins and that Venus would soon rip her heart out, destroying her completely._

_Insecurity was a new feeling for her. Mars had never doubted herself, her feelings, another's feelings, or the realities that surrounded her. Not only was she psychic, but her reserved nature had taught her to read everything and everyone with astounding precision. Why should she doubt it now?_

_Perhaps it would be best to simply see Venus and allow her presence to speak for itself. But first, it would give her some peace of mind to check in on her Princess. She was too proud to admit it, but Princess Serenity was so much more than simply the one she was sworn to defend – she was her sister, blood, and best friend. If Mars were the sharing type, she would tell the girl all of her deepest secrets. _

_As it were, she knew all of the princess's secrets but the young blonde was woefully ignorant of everyone else's. For example, despite it being common knowledge, Princess Serenity hadn't the faintest idea that Mercury and Jupiter were a couple or even that Mars and Venus were… whatever it was that they were. Mars didn't know anymore. Venus had been tip-toeing around her as though she might shatter into tiny shards ever since they had returned from her home planet a month ago. Venus had teleported her unconscious form back to the Moon base and delivered her to into Mercury's capable hands. Apparently, she had a violent seizure and swore to destroy the light of this universe. Mars couldn't be shocked by Venus's apprehension, but a month later with only two other milder incidents seemed more than time enough._

_Maybe she was losing her._

_Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she rose and headed to the throne room. A quick check on the Princess to ensure that Luna was indeed standing guard would provide much comfort. Without further hesitation, Mars' heels clicked down the expansive passageways en route to her Princess. Purposefully, she strode down the elegant halls and past the majestic banners representing the planets of the Moon Kingdom. Mars had always loved walking past the blood-red and gold flag bearing the pride of her people. The small smile beginning to grace her features froze when she heard familiar voices._

_"Take it easy, Zoisite. We only need to wait another 3 days or so. This diplomacy bullshit won't hurt us any. We have time. It has time."_

_"Whether It has time enough is key to all our operations! I hate this! We can't take any risks – imagine if It can't accomplish his goal. We know the Queen sensed his intentions and we are to act accordingly, but I can't stand back and let this get out of our control."_

_"While I agree," the third voice said, "we have out orders. I would much rather talk to her myself, but our Queen won't let me near her."_

_A snort. "Yeah, because you fall all over yourself as soon as you smell her perfume."_

_Barking laughter echoed throughout the corridor. She decided to wait no longer, and the sound of her heels reverberated through the hallway, abruptly halting their mirth. She rounded the corner to find Zoisite, Nephrite, and Jadeite looking curiously in her direction. When she was in full view, she saw Nephrite nudge Jadeite and the latter's cheeks turned a dark shade of red._

_"What business do you three have here?" Mars wasn't in the mood to play nice or put on airs when a battle was looming._

_"Dear Princess, we seek only to attempt to remedy our relations before things turn nasty. We would hate to see this kingdom attacked, the love of Endymion and Serenity destroyed, or your beautiful features marred," bowed the most youthful blonde with a wink to the others._

_"Queen," she spat sharply. "Dear _Queen_."_

_Jadeite rapidly righted himself in shock. The others seemed equally surprised, but held their reactions to only a widening of their eyes._

_"You should know to whom you are speaking before you babble false and belittling titles, if only because you brought about the nature of my status. State your purpose or get out of this Kingdom before its purity incinerates your corrupted souls."_

_Nephrite, the most straight-forward of the three, was the first to break the mask. "Tsk, tsk. And to think, you may join us yet. My soul is set upon my goal to ensure the preservation of my Prince, but what about yours? I hear another blonde may be the reason you're slacking on duties. Fortunately for you, your fetish for blondes may be satisfied in my friend Jadeite, here. He's powerful and sensitive too," he finished with a smirk._

_Jadeite elbowed him hard in the stomach. "Princ – erm – _Queen_ Nike, we mean no disrespect. Excuse my buffoonish brethren. We are here to escort our Prince and attempt to negotiate some last-minute peace. We do not wish to spill the blood of our Prince's true love."_

_"There is no guarantee that I do not wish to spill your royal blood," she answered coldly._

_"I can only respect and expect the aw sentiments from the Goddess of War. However, does your leader feel the same?"_

_"Princess Serenity will accept what needs to be done to defend the kingdom when the time comes."_

_Zoisite laughed. "He wasn't referring to your childish Princess. He was referring to Princess Beroe and her – loving – ways with the court."_

_Mars' blood went cold. Anyone who questioned the honor of her love surely had a death wish. How dare he suggest Venus a lowly court whore! If he had been anyone else, she would have killed him on the spot, so she seethed in a frozen stance - fists balled tightly with the struggle for restraint._

_"Ooh, temper, temper. Jealousy does nothing to prevent her from spreading her legs for a real man. From experience, Kunzite is far from lacking in the 'accessory department'."_

_Before he could whisper another word, Mars had Zoisite pinned against a pillar with a strong hand around his neck, lifting him from the ground. Her strength held him aloft, clawing and grasping at her arm. As his face slowly turned from red to purple, she drew in close to his ear._

_"No one of your diminutive standing would ever warrant a single glance from my goddess. And if honesty is prevailing, no one of the lowest caliber would dare touch your disgusting haunches." The blond blanched, "Unless, of course, they were seeking to expose your own inadequacies."_

_He looked almost pitiful. She chuckled and released him in an undignified heap to the floor. As he struggled for breath, she turned toward the other two. Fire flaring in her eyes, they scattered to allow her to pass into the throne room._

_She breezed past them, through the high doors, and into the vaulted chamber. To her immense surprise, the space already housed two very recognizable people standing close enough to be touching. She faltered only slightly as the ever-present fire beneath the surface flared. If she didn't control herself, the silver-haired bastard would be a charred mess on the floor.`_

_Whistling a merry tune in feigned nonchalance, she casually made her way to the throne. From the corner of her eye, she saw the blonde scuttle away from her companion, red spreading across her cheeks. The raven refused to acknowledge her presence as she approached the guards at the throne, nodding to signal she requested an audience with her Queen. One of the guards immediately retreated into the back chamber to retrieve the royalty. Mars stood with her hands on the hilt of her sword, waiting for anything. Venus would be foolish to approach her in this state. She had no need to turn and see how far the blonde had distanced herself from the guardian of Earth – it didn't matter._

_Almost immediately, the remaining guard announced the presence of Queen Serenity as Mars sunk into a low bow. When she allowed her eyes to meet those of the regal queen, she saw a flash of fear. With a sigh, she rose in preparation to address her concerns._

_"Queen Nike, I hope against hope that your presence here is to bring good news regarding the impending darkness, but your eyes do nothing to assuage my fears – so I ask you without pretense: what will become of us?" The wise Queen braced herself for devastating news._

_"Your Highness, as important as this news is, it is not for others to be privy to this information. My words are for your ears, and your ears alone." Mars bowed in apology, but the queen nodded and waved away her guards, Venus, and Kunzite. Mars refused to turn around and watch her blonde lover leave the throne room with that damned Earthling. When she heard the door close tentatively behind her, she sighed and addressed the silver-haired woman before her._

_"My Queen, Mercury and I have established battle plans for the upcoming skirmish. We have planned the best possible defensive plan to protect you and Princess Serenity. The fight will be difficult and it will be brutal, but there is a very small glimmer of hope for success."_

_"And… your fire readings?"_

_At this, Mars shifted uncomfortably. Noticing her discomfort, the Queen raised a brow in question._

_"I – it's – well…" she paused, "I can't get a fire reading," she said sheepishly, color rising in her cheeks._

_Queen Serenity seemed startled by this news. Looking at the fire goddess hard, she pressed her for answers. "And how long has this been going on?"_

_"Ever since I returned from Mars," she admitted. Thankfully, Queen Serenity decided not to press the issue, recognizing her embarrassment. Nevertheless, Mars knew she had to continue. "Despite my new handicap, I do have more pressing concerns and theories to present."_

_The Queen cocked her head and narrowed her eyes in interest, inviting her to speculate. With a deep breath, Mars decided to share her suspicions._

_"I don't trust the Earthlings. At all. Despite Prince Endymion's apparently sincere dedication to the Princess, I suspect his guard of loyalty to only Princess Beryl. They may easily be on a mission here to scout weaknesses, attempt to gain supporters in the court, and break us up from the inside. I know you desire successful negotiations for peace, but I believe them to be entirely futile. They are meant to provide a distraction from your preparations of war. Therefore, I am advising that you send the Prince and his guards away from the Moon immediately and definitively."_

_For a few moments, Queen Serenity simply stared without a word. Mars waited patiently as the Queen's face remained impassive. After a very pregnant pause, she asked a very simple question._

_"Will we survive this?"_

_Mars braced herself to deliver the painful truth. She had hoped to keep the faith alive._

_"Probably not."_

_With a nod, the Queen closed her eyes before making a decision._

_"Then they shall stay. If I can offer even a few short days of comfort to my daughter, it will be worth it."_

_Mars wanted to argue, but it was not her place for her to further challenge her Queen. Instead, she simply bowed and began to retreat from the regal figure before her. Abruptly, the Queen raised her hand to stop the psychic._

_"This was not the meeting you originally came here for, was it?"_

_Mars nodded, silent in her admission. "You shall see the Princess before you retire, but on the condition that you express your concerns regarding Prince Endymion. If she then wishes to send them away, we shall. You know as well as I that she won't likely see reason, but you're the only one who might be able to get through to her."_

_Her heart sank. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt or anger her beloved Princess . There was absolutely no chance that Princess Serenity would react with any emotion less than extreme. She could walk away and keep her thoughts to herself, but she had a duty to ensure that the Princess was being watched over tonight. With another sigh and a nod, she bowed her head in apprehension._

_She heard the Queen rise and proceed down the stairs. As she passed Mars, she lightly touched the top of her head in a sympathetic gesture. Her heels echoing in the chamber, she made her way out the main doors, leaving Mars to wait alone._

_The silence grew oppressive as a thousand ways to begin the conversation presented themselves, each as ridiculous as the next. Her princess was emotional, irrational, and forewent logic and reason for her heart. She feared that the Princess would join with their enemies, and then where would they stand? Would they still be able to defend the moon kingdom, or would they be forced to turn upon their Queen in protection of the Princess? Mars would rather run her sword through her heart than make that decision. Or worse – watch her Venus make the decision. Her heart ached as she pictured Kunzite in Venus' bed for the hundredth time that month. _

_A tingling dark cloud emerged from her thoughts, rapidly spreading through her veins as it enveloped her soul._

_Her normal sight went dark as visions overcame her sober thoughts._

Kunzite and Venus were in a dimly lit hallway. Her head was bowed shyly as he regarded her steadily.

"What are you so afraid of, Venus?" he asked in a soft, sultry voice.

She resisted his gaze as she continued to study the floor, attempting to voice her thoughts. He moved closer to her, tentatively placing his hands at her hips. When she still didn't respond, he began guessing.

"Is it the Princess? Do you worry that she will falter and return to her mother's aide?" The blonde shook her head slowly, still refusing to meet his gaze. He tried a few more times. "Do you doubt my sincerity? Or are you still in love with Queen Nike?"

At this, the senshi leader shot up and glared hard into his eyes.

"It has nothing to do with Nike," she said with force. "You know more than anyone how satisfying it is to use your subordinates – I was not foolish enough to begin to fall for them as you once did for a certain Zoisite."

He smirked at her, but waited for the source of her hesitation. With a sigh, she relented.

"I fear losing… you."

She searched his eyes for rejection, but instead he smirked again and answered her. His lips descended upon her own in a needy, passionate kiss. He slowly backed her into the wall of the corridor. His hands began to roam freely, one through the V of her leotard to caress one of her breasts while his other began to slowly rise up her thigh. Her Venus moaned into the kiss arching into his possessive figure. Her hands reached for his pants, eagerly unbuttoning them and searching to release the –"

_"Mars! Mars, please! Wake up!"_

_The firebrand headed for the call of her Princess, blindly attempted to emerge from the nightmare-ish vision._

_"Mars," said a cooler voice, "you've got to calm down. It's alright – the Princess and I are here. It's ok. Shhh."_

_The first voice continued to half-sob her name while the other continued her soothing words in a never-ending mantra of comfort. Mars pushed through the heavy darkness, away from the sight of her lover choosing the Earthling over both herself and the Moon Kingdom. Her breathing refused to slow as she continued fighting to the surface like a drowning woman. Finally, she began to breech the surface._

_Her eyes fluttering open in panic, she first was met with the blonde Princess kneeling as her feet, tears streaming from her innocent blue eyes. Relieved to see her safe, but still confused, she turned her eyes skyward to the one in whose arms she was cradled._

_She was met with the same sapphire pools which moments ago, she had escaped. This time, however, their concern and love was directed at her._

_Further panic coursed through her veins as she scurried to her feet, like a rat trapped in a cage. Adrenaline rushing, she stared at her lover with wide eyes. Pain in her heart overwhelmed her. Grimacing, she clutched her chest and abandoned whatever mission she had been given by the Queen. Without warning, she leapt to unsteady feet, her legs drunkenly sprinting for the exit in her agitated mental state._

_Mars had almost made it across the seemingly endless chamber – throwing her weight at the lead door. This took the last of her fragile strength as she staggered a few more labored steps before the prickly darkness again clouded her vision and she sank to her heavy knees. As the darkness grew, so did a deep and evil peeling of laughter. She knew no more._

Millions of year away, a raven miko shot straight up in bed. Hot tears were running down her face as the mirthless laugh continued its echo in her head. Attempting to calm her breathing and strangled sobs, she lay back down. Her pulse was racing so fast and her nerves were so on edge that her heart actually stopped for a few moments when a pale arm draped across her and a warm body snuggled into her side.

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A/N: Who's at her side? What was the vision? A Premonition? Paranoia? We shall see. In the meantime, Rate and review how you feel about this seemingly random flashback chapter. I'm trying to slow my pace here. And I hope I haven't confused anyone... too much anyway. Emotions can take time to sort out, as can feelings. I feel they both deserve room and time for thought. Until next time, I'd love to hear YOUR thoughts.

and yes, this chapter has a purpose.


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